candid canadianism

this week has been really discombobulating and incredibly eventful, but all in all, enlightening.

i've been getting into doing a lot of physical activity recently and it has been bringing me a lot of joy, so i signed up for a bunch of different programs at my local community center. i went swimming on tuesday, and admittedly was a little bit nervous. i haven't done proper organized lane swimming since i was a tot in swimming lessons, and while i'm a decent enough swimmer, being a genderweird person in underclothed spaces is always terrifying. to my surprise, i had a really lovely time, and i met two seniors named gary and rita who were so incredibly kind and supportive. rita told me i had good form and encouraged me to return, with much assurance that the folks at the center are super kind. gary did some light-hearted ribbing every time i had to take a break, and he truly blew me out of the water (pun intended) with his ability to just keep on swimming. gary and rita both out-swam me for laps, but i loved and appreciated their gentleness and friendliness towards me.

i'm normally pretty diligent about bringing a pre-packed lunch to work, but in a flurry of trying to get myself out the door on wednesday, it slipped my mind. i resolved to get food at a brunch chain restaurant, even though it meant being that person who shows up just shortly before closing (i was hungry and desperate, gimme a break!). before finishing up and paying the bill, the restaurant manager and i struck up a lovely conversation about her two adult kids, what its like managing in food service, my experience as a musician, and lots of other surprisingly in-depth and personal topics. i kept assuring her i'd get out of her hair so she could close up and how terrible i felt, but her genuine kindness and interest in what i had to say warmed me in such a way. after leaving the restaurant (and leaving a great tip, mind you!), i had realized we hadn't even exchanged names. she was genuinely curious about me, and i her, with no real end goal allowing a fleeting friendship. maybe if fate allows it, i'll see her again (its a brunch place in front of my work i will actually probably see her again lol), but the lack of pressure was so genuine, i felt truly cared for on a human level.

yesterday night, i had gone to the gym after work (mind you i dont usually do this, because grandpa cyber has a bedtime, and scary things happen when i dont get my beauty sleep), and ended up at the train station later than i wanted to be. the town where i live is pretty safe generally, but there are a few folks who tend to occupy the train shelters and smoke crack, and the erratic intoxicated behaviour is typically ignorable. except on this particular night, there was a gentleman who was going up to every person on the platform, terrorizing each and every one of them; getting in their faces, speaking loudly and upsettingly, just generally being a nuisance. he got particularly too close to one woman who was very visibly freaked out. when i saw this, i stepped in and helped her walk away, and helped her call security. i made sure she got home safe, literally barking like a dog at the man if he got too close, and missing my own train in the process. she was so shaken, but i am so grateful that i was able to at least help her get home in a better state than she would've been otherwise.

i think the point of these stories, the throughline if you will, is this: i grew up in
canada, but i've lived in the united states for pretty much my whole adult life.
i've only been back in canada since august of 2025, and living here again
has made clear my absolute favourite part of the canadian
cultural identity: kindness without incentive.

its a dramatic shift, and to an extent, a culture shock from what im used
to in the united states. i don't want to generalize because ive met and i
adore many lovely americans, but there is an inherent aggression when
you encounter strangers in the states, and if those strangers do engage in
some kind of pleasant small talk, it is often a means to an end, or an opportunity to
lead towards an ask, or with some kind of personal intention.

this isnt meant to rag on the usa at all, but rather to shine a light on the selflessness of the average canadian and their desire to do good. this societal and cultural mentality feels so in sync with my personal goals, morals, and who i want to be. ultimately, if living where you live changes you fundamentally, i am glad to live and be changed by a place set in generosity, service, and the ability to see oneself in another.

I do wonder if there is a word for that; it feels like a step above empathy, sorta. to look at another person and acknowledge you are on the same playing field; alive at the same time with lives of equal worth. it isn't everyone, it isnt always, and this whole thing isn't mean to be ignorant of the inequality that lives and has lived in this country, but there is something so incredibly connective and altruistic within the canadian makeup.

a dear friend of mine who's family immigrated to canada when he was in middle school once described to me what his version of canadian nationalism (i even hesitate to use that word with its imperialistic connotation) looked like: to look at the vast variety of landscapes; prairies, forests, arctic, maritimes, etc., and know that no matter how different our days and lives are, ultimately we all have the same goals, and the same needs. there is a love of the land here, because it is simply beautiful. there is a million different perspectives, a melting pot of people from all over who have to find common ground to succeed together, and for the most part we do!

canada has its problems, i know that. i could never pretend like the political structures here, some of the more isolated conservative communities, and the historic as well as current treatment of the indigenous populations are things that are nothing. but i believe deep in my heart that with the base-level connectedness that exists in the veins of this country's culture, all of those things are just the littlest bit easier to tackle than if it weren't the case.

C.S

p.s. i want to clarify that this personality trait of canadians that i describe is by no means exclusive to those born within the country's borders. i believe it to be true of anyone who has spent enough time among other canadians to consider themselves a part of that cultural identity, a part of society, a part of the greater good.